Why am I writing this personal entry? Well, it is not an attempt to gain any sympathy. It attempts to show what is possible if a clear intention and goal serve the learner's needs. In May of 2022 just near the end of another fantastic school year, I do not remember what happened. But, I was unable to finish the school year and was unable to teach the following year. Why? On May 21st, 2022, I fell down a flight of 16 stairs (luckily carpeted) from the 2nd to 1st story of our home. I was found at the bottom of the stairs. I was found foaming at the mouth. This would lead to a 2-month hospital stay which included an induced coma because my seizures would not stop, several rounds of lumbar punctures, and relearning basic physical movements like something as simple as being able to roll in the hospital bed. Simply put, when I was admitted to the hospital, I was diagnosed as being “critically ill.” Please take a moment and read those words: critically ill. They are not terms that are
I was lucky enough to be able to see a screening of the new documentary Won’t You Be My Neighbor today and was moved to reflect a bit. The documentary chronicles the work of Fred Rogers on Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. This post will be a bit scattered, but the film spoke to me and I had to put down my thoughts for myself more than anyone.
I was a child who was raised on PBS, specifically Sesame Street and Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. I am a parent of immigrants. My father worked long hours so I rarely saw him during daylight hours. My mother never had a day of formal schooling until she was in her 50’s. So in many ways, these shows were a strong learning tool until I began attending preschool. But, that story of my life as a first generation American and my parents is a tale for another day.
My graduate work this summer has been focused on curriculum work. In all of that research into the complexity of the standards, it can be easy to lose the heart of our work. In an archival interview included in the film, Mr. Rogers (I will always feel weird calling him Fred) puts it simply:
Love is at the root of everything - all learning, all parenting, all relationships. Love or the lack of it.
When I think about Mr. Rogers, I think about the man talking to me face to face through the window of television. He made that connection. He was trying to teach me so many hard truths about life, being honest about my feelings, and the power of kindness. But, I never would have listened to him if I didn’t think he cared about me. When I stand in front of the classroom and address my class, I am able to teach. But when I’m have those smaller face to face conversations, that’s when I am able to connect with the individuals in my classroom and build those relationships.
Mr. Rogers’ first puppet character he ever played was Daniel the Tiger. Through this puppet, he was able to give voice to his fears and insecurities. Through Daniel, he showed the vulnerability of a child. The child he was in his youth, that he still was, and the children he saw as his audience. As educators, we have to think about how often we let students see our doubts and fears, our vulnerability, our humanity. In addition, let our learners know that we see theirs as well.
As a teacher, I am required to give students grades. I can’t help but feel how a grade is not the love learning is built upon. (Even now it is so hard for me to type the word “love” in the context of education for fear of the connotations of the word and being truly vulnerable and accepting of the responsibility we have as educators to show for the learners we have in our care.) Grading is cold and impersonal while the learning process itself is nothing but personal and extremely emotional. I have read so many great works on the power of feedback that is kind, actionable, and hopeful. I can’t help but see that as the love Mr. Rogers speaks of.
Educators are given time with students on a daily basis to create a learning environment for their students. Time to create relationships. I am no Mr. Rogers. I don’t have the amazing power he had to make connections and show complete and unguarded empathy for all. He saw everyone as special. When asked to explain what he meant by that he said:
what that ultimately means, of course, is that you don't ever have to do anything sensational for people to love you.
I look to create a place in my classroom where students feel safe to learn about science, even if it was never something they were told they were good at based on an assigned grade. On my syllabus and on my student’s schedules, my name is listed as Mr. Mohammad. On the first day, I introduce myself as such and say, “feel free to call me Mr. Mo”. It always gives me a little smile when a student calls me Mr. Mo for the first time. It feels like they are seeing me as more than just another block in their schedule. I’ve become someone they are going to be having a connection with. For some, it may only last the length of our course. But, it is there. My favorite part of my job is not the design of curriculum, the teaching in front of the class, or even the summers off. It is when I am able to have a conversation with a student about his or her learning, even if it was just something that they saw on TV the day before. It makes me want to build more of that time in my classroom to embrace the fact that learning and assessment is subjective and find ways to see the learner and his or her learning with all of the messiness. It’s this “mess” that makes us special. We don’t need to clean that up.
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